We’ve found your perfect cosmic love match. Yes, really (perhaps)
As streaming giant Amazon Prime dips its toe into celestial match-making, The Zodiac Dispatch dives deep for this astro love special
Friday 12 August 2022 By Clarisse Monahan Illustration by Rosa Viktoria Ahlers
It was as fated as the stars themselves that a reality show about finding one’s soulmate through astrology would be commissioned at some point. And so it has come to pass: on 12 August, Amazon Prime will premiere all 10 episodes of its new dating series, Cosmic Love. For those of us who are astrologically inclined – or should that be, aligned? – there’s nowhere else we would rather be.
The premise: four participants or ‘Elements’ (an Earth, Fire, Water and Air sign) look for romantic fulfilment at a villa populated by 16 magically photogenic singles. Romantically assisted by The AstroTwins, Ophira and Tali Edut – who offer chart readings and star-crossed analysis inside the mystical space that is the Astro Chamber (delivered by the disembodied voice of actor Cree Summer) – the idea is for the Elements to not only discover love, but also themselves through the powers of astrological matchmaking.
The fact that Cosmic Love will debut in 240 countries and territories worldwide speaks to the rise and rise of astrology in the public imagination and its perceived ability to help us face an uncertain future in today’s precarious world. Apps such as Co–Star, snarky memes about Capricorns – even astrology-inspired couture – are all part of this current meeting in the heavens, of which Cosmic Love looks to be a bright, new star.
Of course, the quest to find our ‘other half’ in arguably fanciful ways is nothing new. In Plato’s Symposium, Aristophanes tells of the Myth of the Androgyne – primeval beings whose sexes ‘were not two as they are now, but originally many in number’, each with ‘four hands and four feet, and one head with two faces looking opposite ways.’
These multi-sexual beings lived in harmony with each other, the story goes. Or rather they did, until they made the mistake of scaling to the heavens. An act of hubris that (of course), had to be punished by the gods: Zeus split them in two, forming humans who would now be cursed to spend their lives very firmly back on Earth searching for their ‘missing’ half – much like the Elements on Cosmic Love.
In preparation for Friday, when our binge-watching begins, the Zodiac Dispatch thought it would be fun to provide our own list of the six best astro love matches. And because love can, of course, work in many and various ways – from the harmonious and bland to the feisty and argument-laden – we’ve taken the liberty of bringing of our pairings together under the guidance of the ‘Jerry Maguire’ principle.
Also known as the ‘you complete me’ formula – which suggests that we, just like the Androgyne, are all missing a vital part of ourselves that only a special someone can fill, as expressed to Tom Cruise by Renée Zellweger in 1996.
And so to our very own Cosmic Love (Soho House Edition) – here’s to the power of astrology to help them (and us) find ‘completion’.
1. Aries/ Libra
The Ram is ruled by hot-headed Mars, while lovely Venus lords it over Libra. Here we have the fundamental ‘opposites attract’ pairing. Aries is the fiery me-first sign, while Libra is constantly balancing the viewpoints of others. Get the two together, however, and each provides what the other lacks, with Libra teaching Aries how to be less self-centred and to look before they leap; to listen and open up to the vista of another. Aries, on the other hand, teaches Libra how to make bold decisions, be more assertive and affirm the self – and that there’s value sometimes in leaping before you look.
2. Taurus/ Scorpio
Here we have another Mars versus Venus pairing. The Bull is ruled by Venus, Scorpio by Mars. As a fixed earth sign, Taurus is the most sensual of the signs, a lover of luxury and the pleasures of the flesh. Scorpio is also a fixed sign, but unlike Taurus it can get obsessive. The Bull teaches Scorpio to relax and enjoy a Verdicchio on the veranda. The Big Sting teaches Taurus to go beyond easy street to find meaning on rocky roads or paths not taken. And when they meet somewhere in the middle – by which we mean the boudoir – it’s chills and thrills all round.
3. Gemini/ Sagittarius
Gemini and Sagittarius are perhaps the highest octane, adventurous and quick-witted of all the signs; they need each other and the constant excitement required by both. Gemini is ruled by quicksilver Mercury, flitting about the afterparty looking for the next one, while Sagittarius is a risk-taking, Jupiter-ruled fire sign. And yet, Sagittarius is ultimately a truth-seeker (its symbol, the Archer’s bow, is shooting towards a higher order of understanding). As such, they teach all you Geminis out there – who can get lost in the details – to see the bigger picture. Meanwhile Geminis, with their light touch, teach Sagittarians to be less lofty, which has a tendency to shade toward sanctimony and overly strong opinions at dinner. Win-win.
4. Cancer/ Capricorn
Ruled by the emotional Moon, Cancer is always up in its feels. Capricorn, in contrast, finds its ruler in distant Saturn, planet of the eternal frown, which means Capricorns need more softness, sweetness, and empathy. With its abundance of fertile water energy, Cancer teaches Capricorn how to get in touch with those vulnerabilities that the Goat tends to suppress. Capricorn, an earth sign, functions in an opposite, though equally productive way for the Crab – by helping to ground the ever-present emotional flux.
5. Leo/ Aquarius
Boy, does Leo love the limelight. It’s a highly charismatic Sun-ruled sign with a penchant for emotional drama. It is also, perhaps, the most ego-centric figure of the zodiac. In contrast, Saturn-ruled Aquarius is an ego-less sign, preferring the altruistic pursuits of humanitarianism. The Waterbearer teaches the Big Cat how to use their undeniable megawatt star power for the good of many. Conversely, Leo teaches Aquarius that sometimes shining a light on your talents can be good for everyone all round.
6. Virgo/ Pisces
Ruled by generous Jupiter and known for excessive compassion, Pisces can be bad with boundaries. Virgo, on the other hand, is basically like a land surveyor when it comes to establishing emotional property lines. You get the point: precise Virgo helps Pisces establish some structure in their often pell-mell world. By the same token, the Fishes teach Virgo to open up, trespass on the side of fun and love, and forgo the overly practical in favour of the boundless, slightly messy nature of love. And who doesn’t want a bit of that?