Royal flush: Drink like a queen this Jubilee bank holiday

On Thursday 2 June this year, two British institutions collide. One is a centuries’ old tradition and as British as the egg and spoon race: drinking too much on bank holidays is practically a statutory requirement in the UK. The other is the monarchy. In this case, the latter is kindly giving us the opportunity to do the former. After all, if there’s one thing that unites the royal family with the people, it’s the love of getting a bit squiffy. So, in honour of the four-day Jubilee bank holiday weekend, and with a nod to Her Majesty, we present a cut-out-and-keep souvenir guide to drinking like the royals.

The Queen Mother

Drink of choice: Champagne, by the case

It is said by her staff that the Queen Mum enjoyed a ‘steady, rather than excessive’ consumption of alcohol. To which we say, that old chestnut… She would have her first gin and dubonnet before lunch, then move on to wine chased with a port, but her real love was Champagne. When she went into hospital to have a hip operation, she smuggled in a case of it, which I think shows a certain degree of commitment. She was 97 at the time. Pity poor Veuve Clicquot when she ascended to a heavenly throne – she was its biggest private client anywhere in the world. 

The House for her: is there a better place for an ageing queen than Kettner’s Champagne Bar – all those mirrors to admire your hat in, all the nice staff and, more importantly, all that lovely Champagne.

The Queen

Drink of choice: a dry gin Martini

The Queen is no flincher at the glass. And after 70 years on the throne, who can blame her? Wouldn’t you have a drink of an evening? All those diplomats, Prime Ministers, and disgruntled relatives fluffing about you – it all seems so, well, trying. Not to mention boring. So, she always has a pre-dinner cocktail composed of alcohol and only alcohol: a dry gin Martini. Even when she’s at Balmoral doing one of those royal family picnics, a flask of ice-cold Martini goes with her. Apparently, Her Majesty has now been advised to give up her nightly tipple until after the Jubilee celebrations to conserve her strength. So, in her honour, we probably ought to have one (or three) for her. 

The House for her: Little House Mayfair is her local, being exactly 0.7 miles from door to palace. Has she ever been there? Well, who can say? But one thing we do know is that they make a damn fine Martini.

Prince William 

Drink of choice: Guinness

During his salad days, Prince William was very fond of the Mahiki Treasure Chest (£135) – the legendary cocktail at the London nightclub. But that was then and this is now. And as any old Etonian will tell you, it is important not to stand out if you don’t want to get the p*ss taken out of you. You need to tone things down to seem relatable. All the more so if you’re a future King of England. And what better, more approachable drink than Guinness. Plus, to be fair, it is very nice – even if it is a danger to the waistline.

The House for him: a good country boy like William would surely feel at home amid the rolling hills of our Cotswolds outpost, Soho Farmhouse. Perhaps one day we’ll see him by the heated pool, pint in hand.

Princess Margaret

Drink of choice: whisky and water

The late Princess Margaret’s diet seemed to be composed of only Benson & Hedges and whisky: an intake familiar to anyone who went to uni in the noughties. The charities of which she was patron would always keep a bottle of Famous Grouse and mineral water on standby at all times in case she popped in. She liked it with ice – but couldn’t bear it if the ice melted. Gordon Ramsay has related that she came to his restaurant and drank only scotch for three hours, and the ash tray had to be changed every three minutes. ‘I find it hard to believe she could have tasted the pudding,’ the chef has said. She had a difficult life, prevented from marrying the man she loved while she was still in her twenties, so she gets a free pass from us.

The House for her: Soho House Paris. Not only was she fluent in French, but she was also a life-long fan of the ballet. And, of course, the Paris Opera Ballet is the oldest in the world, founded by Louis XIV, so we can see her popping in for a stiffener, post show.

Princess Diana

Drink of choice: white wine

The Queen of Hearts wasn’t a massive drinker. Though she did enjoy the odd Peach Bellini and a glass of Chardonnay. She used to dress in disguise, sneak out of Kensington Palace and go for the odd drink with girlfriends around London – or in one case Freddie Mercury, with whom she dressed as a man and went to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. I suppose you can’t put much alcohol away and still hope to look gorgeous in Versace couture.

The House for her: if only Soho House Mumbai had been around in the 1990s, it would have been so convenient to fly over there, enjoy the beach views and take a little swim after doing good deeds with her great pal Mother Teresa.