Sex toys, decolonising pleasure, and the metaverse

Penda N’diaye is a pleasure enthusiast and the founder of Pro Hoe, an interactive sex toy company that captures orgasm data to curate content for sexual exploration and play. The Senegalese American-born writer is on a mission to decolonise sexuality, eradicate sexual shame, and build sexual self-confidence. Pro Hoe exists to affirm and promote self-discovery. Self-described as ‘the Netflix of sex’, the company provides content and products to support sex play and orgasms.

Tune in to the Pro Hoe Live Room event on Wednesday 23 March and read on to hear from N’diaye.

What led you to create Pro Hoe?

‘A few years ago, my mom gave me my first vibrator for Christmas, which sparked a vibrant conversation on the lack of sexual dialogue in Black communities. I started blogging about my sexual experiences and discovered the power of empathy through storytelling. Blogging led to podcasting and in-person events that fostered open discussions on historically taboo sexual topics like ethical non-monogamy, kink, and BDSM. After a couple of years of writing and leading community events for VICE, goop, HBO, HULU, and Playboy, I decided to build my own sex-tech company to materialise my findings and experiences in a way that would expand the way we think about human sexuality.’  
 
Tell us about the sex tech industry and the lack of inclusivity you saw in the space. 

‘Sex tech is any technology designed to enhance sexuality. It merges the very lucrative tech industry with sexuality, which is as old as time. Sexuality doesn’t just encompass the physical act itself, but also education, consent, wellness, health, gender identity, and entertainment. Most sex devices and companies are created by white men. In the last five years, there have been more white women leading the research in the industry, but there are very few Black women founders. In addition, I noticed that there weren’t many companies creating intentional content for marginalised communities like Black women or queer, trans and disabled people. There isn’t a generic one toy that fits all. Culturally, we are moving towards a more open and experimental sexual future, however, more companies can focus less on gender identity and more on sex play and exploration.’

Your mission is to ‘decolonise pleasure’ – tell us what that means and how you’re working to do just that.

 ‘Decolonising sexuality means redefining sex education to include all gender and sexual identities. For me, my work looks back to my ancestors and other Indigenous people’s peer colonisation in order to validate and normalise my sexual experiences. We would be remiss to think our ideas on sexuality and gender identity are new or progressive. While many languages and historical artefacts were erased during colonisation, there are still some accurate depictions that confirm many cultures did not see gender as binary, nor shamed people for their sexual identities.’ 

 
What are you excited about? What do you see for the future of the intersection of self-pleasure and tech? 

 ‘I’m really excited to see sex tech create broader spaces for more conversations and orgasms. We all need more sex, more pleasure, more joy. I hope that what I’m building allows people to understand more about what turns them on, and in turn communicate those desires to others. I foresee self-pleasure, sexual health and tech being just as common and informative as the Fitbit and Apple watch.’ 

 
Any thoughts on how this will all translate to the metaverse? 

‘VR porn. Sex NFTs. We’re already kind of seeing meta sex via OnlyFans, audio erotica, and Bluetooth-synced devices.’